One key thing I've now started to do as a result of reading the Introduction of Doreen & Grant Virtue's "Angel Words: Visual Evidence of How Words Can Be Angels in Your Life" is to record myself saying affirmations and quotes/advice. These will be put on to two different play lists and I plan to play them throughout the day whenever possible. I try to say affirmations when ever possible, but I don't always remember - this will help during the times I would otherwise forget to be saying them.
Doreen's book discusses research she and her son have done on the energy levels of words. Positive words have high energy and negative words have low energy. This makes a lot of sense as through reading Louise Hay I've understood the importance of stating things in a positive way. Positive leads to positive. However seeing that it is not only a feeling but an energy has made things very clear to me. I generally have very low energy and I can recognise that I quite often look to the negative. I attempted to stop this today. Lately I've been repeating my frustration at a situation with my ex and his wife to my close friends, I have no idea how many negative words I used, but there were a lot of negative thoughts. Although I got things off my chest I feel like I'm on repeat only making myself feel down when there are so many positives I could be focusing on and phrasing in regards to that same situation. I am certain I'd have a lot more energy to actually improve my lot in many different ways if I did.
Today when chatting on facebook to a very dear friend who I haven't talked to for a while, I attempted to stop myself from this negative verbal diarreah when she asked how things were going in that arena. While I wasn't able to stop myself completely I did manage to keep it short. While I'm not there yet, this shows that my brain is now actively making an effort to make changes to my way of thinking.
I've just realised how many times I've written the word negative here... and I'm already getting tired... so I'm now going to move on to my next book which I found to be a revelation!
Dale Carnegie's "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living - Time-Tested Methods for Conquering Worry" is brilliant - and this only after the first chapter! It talks about breaking time up into compartements. Yesterday has past, tomorrow is yet to come. We can only live in today. How amazing if I could focus like this. I'm full of worry about things I've done in the past and in terror of things that could happen in the future and quite frankly wasting each day when I should be living my day to the full without fear or worry. There are so many things I fear or wish for, for the future, and I often don't believe I'm good enough because of the past. I need to remember I can be successful today if only I can shut out the others.
There are some great quotes in the chapter which I have duly recorded to listen to at a later date. This is one message that I do not want to forget.
Showing posts with label Dale Carnegie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dale Carnegie. Show all posts
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
New plan...
I keep forgetting that the purpose of the blog is not to repeat everything from the books... it is supposed to be my actions resulting from the books! After all the books should be read by you as every individual person gets books differently from others.
Like always I'm constantly changing my mind on how to attack the self help books. I guess I'm just too impatient to stick to one book till the end, so I thought to read a chapter a book one after the other. Keep things fresh so I don't get too bogged down with one author (no matter how good they are I always lose track of it half way through the book). I also get to see many different perspectives at once and also cover different topics that I am needing to follow.
As I had already read the first chapter of You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, the next book chapters I have read since last night are:
*A very funny book called "The Absolutely Essential Penguin Guide to Etiquette" by Pat Lawson-Black & Tom Hazell. - How to behave in the mosh pit, on the mobile phone, and at Government House.
First chapter covers Dealing with People, The Art of Conversation, The Eavesdrop, The ins and outs of service, Effective complaining, Attitude & the Gift.
Haven't had much of a chance to put it into practice yet, however I did put one tip into practice before reading thanks to advice from my mum. I got a quite inflammatory text from my ex who I need to be on good terms with for my kids. I am actually usually on good terms with him as he is a decent man. I was very angry and upset so I knew to call my mum first to calm myself down. She advised me to respond as the following tip from the book says:
"Kindness and Courtesy are there own reward: The satisfaction is in knowing you have conducted yourself in an exemplary manner. Do It. It will make you feel good."
I answered with this in mind and his follow up texts were a lot more friendly and I felt calmer and more willing to see that while I disagreed, he did come from a place of caring.
*The other book is: WeightWatchers Healthy Parent Healthy Child by Karen Miller-Kovach - Simple rules for a healthy-weight home.
The first chapter mainly discussed BMI's and that it is best to take control of your child's weight while they are young as the longer they are overweight or at risk of being overweight the higher the risk they will have weight issues as adults.
Being overweight myself I know is not a good example to set for my children. I do have the extra difficulty of being on medication that makes it more difficult to lose weight, but not impossible. Unfortunately my son is on medication that is more extreme. His medication makes him hungry all the time and he has gone from a tiny thing that no matter what he ate stayed tiny, to a bigger boy. He already has enough difficulties in his life with his autism, I do not want that exacerbated by weight problems.
My daughter has a very healthy weight as she is a very serious dancer and also plays netball, however we do also need to pay a lot of attention to her diet due to the high amount of exercise she does and her huge growth spurt this year. We also need to pay attention to it due to her auditioning for a serious dance high school next year. While luckily they do not require the girls to be teeny tiny girls who look like they would fall over (would not send her there if they did), there is a body type she will need to fit mainly at this stage so she has the fitness and stamina to keep up with the high demand of the school. (Half their day is academic and the rest of the day till 5pm is dance - 5 days a week!)
I did learn that I must practice caution with focusing on healthy weights for children. It is best overall to try and maintain your child's weight as they grow. This will help them reach a healthier BMI without any risk to their growth.
Next book to read: Dale Carnegie's: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Like always I'm constantly changing my mind on how to attack the self help books. I guess I'm just too impatient to stick to one book till the end, so I thought to read a chapter a book one after the other. Keep things fresh so I don't get too bogged down with one author (no matter how good they are I always lose track of it half way through the book). I also get to see many different perspectives at once and also cover different topics that I am needing to follow.
As I had already read the first chapter of You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, the next book chapters I have read since last night are:
*A very funny book called "The Absolutely Essential Penguin Guide to Etiquette" by Pat Lawson-Black & Tom Hazell. - How to behave in the mosh pit, on the mobile phone, and at Government House.
First chapter covers Dealing with People, The Art of Conversation, The Eavesdrop, The ins and outs of service, Effective complaining, Attitude & the Gift.
Haven't had much of a chance to put it into practice yet, however I did put one tip into practice before reading thanks to advice from my mum. I got a quite inflammatory text from my ex who I need to be on good terms with for my kids. I am actually usually on good terms with him as he is a decent man. I was very angry and upset so I knew to call my mum first to calm myself down. She advised me to respond as the following tip from the book says:
"Kindness and Courtesy are there own reward: The satisfaction is in knowing you have conducted yourself in an exemplary manner. Do It. It will make you feel good."
I answered with this in mind and his follow up texts were a lot more friendly and I felt calmer and more willing to see that while I disagreed, he did come from a place of caring.
*The other book is: WeightWatchers Healthy Parent Healthy Child by Karen Miller-Kovach - Simple rules for a healthy-weight home.
The first chapter mainly discussed BMI's and that it is best to take control of your child's weight while they are young as the longer they are overweight or at risk of being overweight the higher the risk they will have weight issues as adults.
Being overweight myself I know is not a good example to set for my children. I do have the extra difficulty of being on medication that makes it more difficult to lose weight, but not impossible. Unfortunately my son is on medication that is more extreme. His medication makes him hungry all the time and he has gone from a tiny thing that no matter what he ate stayed tiny, to a bigger boy. He already has enough difficulties in his life with his autism, I do not want that exacerbated by weight problems.
My daughter has a very healthy weight as she is a very serious dancer and also plays netball, however we do also need to pay a lot of attention to her diet due to the high amount of exercise she does and her huge growth spurt this year. We also need to pay attention to it due to her auditioning for a serious dance high school next year. While luckily they do not require the girls to be teeny tiny girls who look like they would fall over (would not send her there if they did), there is a body type she will need to fit mainly at this stage so she has the fitness and stamina to keep up with the high demand of the school. (Half their day is academic and the rest of the day till 5pm is dance - 5 days a week!)
I did learn that I must practice caution with focusing on healthy weights for children. It is best overall to try and maintain your child's weight as they grow. This will help them reach a healthier BMI without any risk to their growth.
Next book to read: Dale Carnegie's: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Told you it was tough going.... Carnegie
I did just so well this morning only to crash and burn this evening!!! Although I still ran late because my daughter still dawdled, I got into work refreshed and unstressed as I was calm in my dealings with her rather than criticising and yelling. It didn't actually change the result but it definitely did help our relationship.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Don't Criticise, Condemn or Complain (Dale Carnegie)
Only 6 hours after reading the first chapter of "How to Win Friends and Influence People", I already proved how true it was... unfortunately I was the one criticised.
Giving a number of interesting case studies including Al Capone, Carnegie shows how people don't criticise themselves no matter how wrong they are. All it does is to bring about resentment and sometimes long lasting emotional wounds. You hurt people's pride and instead of listening and considering your point of view all that person will do is justify their own position and perhaps condemn you in return.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Dale Carnegie - Brilliant advice if you can handle it!
My mother recommended Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' to me when I was a teenager and I recall starting to read it but then losing interest... oh how I wish I had persevered. It could have made so much of a difference in my life.
Unfortunately after years of bad habits, it becomes just that much harder to pick up the principles when you are older. I finally read the entire book earlier this year and immediately attempted to put the advice to work. I had been having difficulties at work and thought it may make a difference... and so it did, a few times.
Using the advice in social situations was also helping... however, it was all too easy to drop when I stopped actively trying, assuming I had it in hand. Some of Carnegie's principles sound easy but they require effort and checking in with yourself regularly otherwise you will slip back into old habits without realising.
Unfortunately after years of bad habits, it becomes just that much harder to pick up the principles when you are older. I finally read the entire book earlier this year and immediately attempted to put the advice to work. I had been having difficulties at work and thought it may make a difference... and so it did, a few times.
Using the advice in social situations was also helping... however, it was all too easy to drop when I stopped actively trying, assuming I had it in hand. Some of Carnegie's principles sound easy but they require effort and checking in with yourself regularly otherwise you will slip back into old habits without realising.
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